Restricted Personnel Only: Research Documents
by Villy Trebuchet
Summary: File Contains: Transcript of audio recorded by Microphone No. 17. Test subject becoming increasingly deluded, forming emotional attachments to Weighted Companion Cube. For use by Aperture Science employees only.


**RESEARCH FILES**:

APERTURE BRAND MICROPHONE 17 DATA REPORT:

**DOCUMENT OVERVIEW:** Test subject has begun to speak. The Weighted Companion Cube appears to be very effective in aiding the investigation of the effect of emotional attachment to others on test performance. Full transcript is provided, as is cake, upon the reception of important research documents.

THIS DOCUMENT IS HIGHLY RESTRICTED. UNAUTHORISED READERS WILL BE CONTACTED BY A SUPERVISOR.

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Transcript of Recorded Audio:

14:34: This is ridiculous. No-one in their right mind could become emotionally attached to a cube.

15:08: I can see you staring at me. She said you're not alive, but she's wrong. I can tell. I know that you'll help me. If you're real, talk to me. Tell me it's a test. Oh God, please tell me it's just a test.

15:15: You're mocking me, aren't you? Mocking me with your silence? It's not going to work, you know. I never needed you anyway. You're just stupid. Stupid stupid stupid…

15:48: Sorry! I'm so sorry! I know it's not enough just to apologise, but there's nothing more that I can do! Please find it in your heart-adorned faces to forgive me. You are my only hope in this place. She has thrown death at me time and time again, testing me, testing me, but you have always trusted me.

I don't care that you weren't there before.

15:52: You were there, weren't you? I knew it! I always had faith in you! You've been there all along. Watching me. I remember you now. You've always been there to help me. You were even the one who turned on the radio for me at the start, weren't you? Such a pretty tune. So catchy. La la la la la, la la la la, la la, la la…

16:34: Okay, stop staring at me. If you have something to say, just come out and say it.

STOP STARING! I HATE YOU!

16: 46: I bet she thinks I'm crazy. You don't think I'm crazy, do you? Can I call you WCC? I think we're no longer on full-name terms, right?

How about Weighted?

Weighty?

No?

Sssssshhhhh! I can't call you that! What if people _hear_ us? You minx.

16:57: The cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie.

17:21: Pretty drawing, pretty drawing, pretty cube. Got to write stuff. Got to tell them. They have to know the truth. So PRETTY! Weighty is pretty. Like an angel. I have to trust you, Weighty. You're my friend. You've always been my friend. I have no other friends. Secret place, shh!

17:25: 1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix 1 can prepared coconut frosting ¾ cups vegetable oil 4 large eggs 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips ¾ cup butter or margarine, softened 2/3 cups granulated sugar 3 large eggs 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups all purpose flour 2/3 cups cocoa 1/4 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt ¼ teaspoon baking powder 1/3 cups water 1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting…

17:27: I hate her. I hate hate hate her. I love you, Weighty. You never lie. I'm going to write you a poem. People should know what they mean to people. People should tell them. I'm going to tell YOU.

17:38: La la la la la, la la la la, la la, la la.

18:00: NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!! I WON'T do it! I won't I won't I won't. NO! Weighty! Please no! You fight her, Weighty! Just kill her! Then we can escape and be free! Like in the pictures. Free like birds like angels. I won't do it. I won't let you go. It doesn't matter how much I want to get out of here. I will never betray you! You're no lie!

18:13: Don't forget garnishes, such as: fish shaped crackers fish shaped candies fish shaped dirt fish shaped solid waste fish shaped ethyl benzene pull and peel liquorice fish shaped volatile organic compounds sediment shaped sediment a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer…

18:24: Maybe… maybe… NO! I won't! But, but… just a test… all over soon… not my fault. It's her, not me. Don't blame me. Don't blame yourself. BLAME HER.

18:37: I can I can I can I will I must, I will do it, just press switch, put you in, goodbye Weighty! Hahahahahaha! All over soon! Just a test! The cake is a lie the cake is a lie the cake is a lie I can't do it Weighty I can't.

18:57: Why did I do that? Why, why, why…? My FRIEND! I can't believe I – I did – she even thought I was cruel. Her! Quickest time taken… No no no no no no no no, I didn't, I didn't, Weighty's right there, I just have to open my eyes, it didn't happen. I can't leave, Weighty's coming home!

19:56: Bye bye bye sorry, 10 minutes silence sssshh gotta be quiet sssh respect the dead, why why why why.

END TRANSCRIPT.

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_Aperture Science: We do what we must, because we can._


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